Lucille is Getting a Makeover

I've had my truck for about two and a half months now. I'm currently home for the holidays back in Rhode Island and have to take leave of both my truck and my dog... absence really does make the heart grow fonder. In the two months that I've had my FJ60, nicknamed Lucille (after the most diabolical Bluth), I've grown to love the old girl, but haven't quite had the time or money to give her everything she truly deserves. There is, of course, a laundry list of wants and needs, some of which include:

• New air, oil, and fuel filters; new plugs, cap, rotor, and wire; flushing the radiator and cleaning the carb - I'm about halfway through this routine maintenance list.
• While overall her body is in wonderful shape, there are a few minor spots of rust that must be dealt with. I also plan to strip most of the chrome trim since its crap and just traps dirt and moisture, leading to more rust.
• 33x10.5x15 BFG All-Terrain tires. A step up from my current 31" tires. 
• Eventually the wish list includes new front and rear bumpers with bull bars, a Tuffy security console, and tinting the rear windows... for someday in the distant future when I actually have money.

For now I'm gutting the rear cargo area interior of the carpet and side panels. I'm planning on getting new plastic side panels cut, allowing access to the interior of the rear quarters for some fluid/straps/cables storage and building an 8" box that will sit flush with the top of the wheel wells that will house storage drawers and include a fold-down sleeper panel to keep the level flush when the rear seat is folded down. Here are a couple pictures of my destruction process...

When I get back to California I'll be getting the side panels cut and installed, mounting the rear speakers into them, and begin the box-building process.

Career Opportunity: Zombie Subject Matter Expert

I'm fairly certain that we'll face an apocalyptic scenario in the near future, as evidenced by my recent (is a few months ago recent?) post about the Google-induced Terminator-style apocalypse. This scenario really scares the crap out of me, because how do you fight machines? They 'think' hundreds of thousands of times faster than us, our bullets will bounce off their invincible metal bodies, and you really can't make an emotional plea for mercy with them.

No, if we're going to have an apocalypse, I'd at least prefer that it take the form of something a bit more manageable for those of us who would like to pour some effort into surviving. Personally, I feel quite well-equipped for the impending zombie outbreak and would prefer that it occur in time to cripple our society's ability to unleash our own mechanical inventions upon ourselves.

With a background in emergency preparedness and infectious disease, I feel that I could very adequately fill the role of 'Zombie SME' for CDC, DHS, or other interested parties to whom preparation for such an event should fall. My extensive research into the field via film and television only bolsters my credentials and I can, of course, provide references from both large, gun-toting, zombie-fearing warriors as well as prominent infectious disease researchers. I also own a baseball bat.

Where is this Zombie threat going to emerge from? Perhaps the most likely route of infection would be via prions, but I certainly can't rule out a mutated variant of the rabies virus. In either case, it would seem that the actual re-animation of a corpse is much less biologically plausible than the destruction and alteration of a victim's normal brain function, essentially turning them into something no longer human. The 'rage' virus depicted in 28 Days Later is a prime example.

Since I already posted about rabies in China, I'll expand on the biological underpinnings of the prion hypothesis...

A Plan Comes Together...

Don't let it ever be said that I don't follow through on a plan.

Ok, let it be said, but not today. Probably not this week. Because today I completed my six-month 'quarter-life' crisis plan, exactly on schedule. You can reference this old post to see that I did indeed set this plan in motion intentionally.

What was the plan? In short, (1) turn 25, (2) get a dog, (3) get a truck, (4) feel blissful. Check, check, check, and check. In addition to that I have a sweet place to live and have even begun formulating a realistic plan as to what I'm going to do with myself after graduation in May.

Anyways, since the dog has yet to make an appearance on this blog, here's Heidi, the slightly-too-timid, 1 year-old German Shepherd/Border Collie mix. She's the best:



And how my newest acquisition, as of this afternoon, a 1984 Toyota FJ60 Land Cruiser. Straight six, 4 speed manual, 200k miles, and an almost-brand-new clutch. She topped out around 75 on the highway back from San Jose. I love her.

Such Lazy Blogging (with Rabies!)

I continually have fleeting visions of actually writing something substantive about public health in this blog, but even those visions are subject to my highly-restricted attention span. However, I have found some public-health worthy news to share with you today. It does not, however, really approach the criteria for substantive.

I subscribe to a ludicrous number of public health-related emails, among them the CDC's MMWR Weekly Report, DHS' Daily Infectious Disease Report, NIH press releases, Kaiser Health News, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation's Public Health News Digest, and of course, Pro-Med. Most mornings I wake up to all of them in my email inbox, and promptly delete them in my pre-shower haze that is comprised of 65% lethargy and 30% contempt for anything producing noise, and 5% ill-will towards my dog for being so happy that I'm awake. I used to read, or at least quickly browse, almost all of these publications. I suppose without John Swartzberg's prodding to share current events in my Principles of Infectious Disease course, they take a backseat to more pressing matters, like making coffee, walking my dog, and whatever came from Netflix that week. Sometimes I even study.

But I digress... I had the opportunity to check one of my Pro-Med emails during a particularly dry lecture today and found this noteworthy headline, "RABIES - CHINA: (GUANGXI) COUNTERFEIT HUMAN VACCINE". Apparently, 8 people have been arrested in China's Guangxi Zhuang region for selling over 1,200 fake rabies shots, which caused the death of one child, and were administered to over 1,000 others. No other harmful effects have been reported by those who received the shots. Pro-Med linked to this article for reference.

China has a notoriously high rate of rabies infections, second only to India. Rabies vaccine is typically adminstered as post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), which means it's given after a suspected infection. Why doesn't everyone get it beforehand? Well, because you have to get 4 shots, and they hurt something fierce. It's the sort of thing you really only want to experience if absolutely have to. China will likely do the vaccine counterfeiters one better and simply execute them, since that's their preferred approach dealing with any crimes remotely serious.



If, like me, you're from the east coast, you generally think of raccoons a primary reservoir for rabies. Stumbling about in the daytime, refusing to not tear through your trash, and even refusing to yield when you throw logs at them when you're camping. Well, on the west coast, the primary reservoir are bats. What's even better is that many people get infected without knowing it because a bite from a bat can be so minuscule that you don't even notice it. The incubation period for rabies can be well over a month, depending how long it takes for the infection to travel to your central nervous system. However, once it arrives there and severe symptoms occur, you're about 99% likely to die, after progressing through fever, malaise, depression, violent movements, hydrophobia, hallucinations, and eventually coma. I think hydrophobia would be the worst part, I really love swimming.

So, those vaccine swindlers in China are likely to die, or least fester in a prison camp in a remote sector of the Tibetan Plateau for quite some time. But I still have unanswered questions: (1) what on earth was in the fake vaccine? (2) What sort of cold-hearted bastard picks rabies as the vaccine to counterfeit? Why not go for something a little less 'life-or-death', like a flu shot? Or maybe some fake Viagra? (3) And finally, and perhaps most importantly, this story makes no sense! People only get rabies vaccines if they have a suspected exposure to it, usually an animal bite, likely a dog in the case of China. If over 1,000 people got this FAKE vaccine, and still didn't die of rabies, and 99% of untreated cases die... then what gives?

I have a few of plausible hypotheses:

1. People in China are getting bit by dogs all the time, but none of them actually have rabies.
   
2. This fake vaccine wasn't as fake people think it is.
   
3. The folks in China are just a hardy bunch, apparently they've got the anti-rabies gene.
   
4. China doles out pre-exposure rabies vaccine for some reason.
   

If I find out, I'll report back....

The People's Republic of California

Since moving here last year I've been trying to get a handle on the circus that is California politics. Even for someone such as myself, well-versed in the political arena thanks to my mediocre undergraduate public education, trying to get a handle on all the issues is akin to trying to grapple a greased pig on a trampoline. Here is a brief rundown on the latest trainwreck that's occurring between the executive and judicial branch...

In November 2008 Californians narrowly approved (51%) a ballot measure to ban gay marriage in the state, thanks in large part to the insidious influence and financial backing of the Mormon church and other conservative religious groups. Prop 8 effectively overturned a California Supreme Court ruling that said same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry.

On August 4th 2010 Judge Vaughn Walker overturned Proposition 8 after concluding that the law lacked any rational justification and denied equal rights to same-sex couples. Protect Marriage, a conservative religious coalition that defended Prop 8 before Judge Walker has appealed to the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals. This is where things get interesting...

Walker has questioned whether Protect Marriage has the legal standing to appeal the ruling, citing that usually only elected officials have the authority to defend state laws in court. This may result in Prop 8's supporters being barred from appealing Walker's ruling to the 9th Circuit. Both California's Attorney General, Jerry Brown, and Governor Terminator have repeatedly stated that they will decline to defend Proposition 8 in court.

That's karma, bitches.

But conservatives are a persistent bunch, and accordingly the Pacific Justice Institute filed suit on behalf of a Los Angeles-based minister seeking to compel the State to defend Prop 8 in court. The Third District Court of Appeals in Sacramento dismissed the suit without comment on Monday. PJI said they would file an immediate appeal the state Supreme Court in hopes of obtaining a reversal on the ruling before the September 11th deadline for action on the Proposition 8 case.

Did you get all that? A constitutional provision that overturned a state Supreme Court ruling, was itself overturned by a District Court; appealing that decision may prove impossible due to supporters being barred from appealing, and the state refusing to do, but the state may yet be forced to defend Prop 8 if an appeal to force them to do so is successful, after initially being dismissed by a Court of Appeals. I've created a diagram to help you understand...

Asking the Question is Half the Right Answer

If you start talking to me about the future, you'll quickly realize that John Connor, despite being fictitious, is one of my personal heroes. Of course, anyone who saves humanity from an offending outside force, be it machine, alien, demon, or zombie, should be universally well-respected. As human beings, we're happy to destroy one another, but theoretically take great offense to some other form of being trying to fill that role. We really are one big family.

Why John Connor? Well, as much as I appreciate all the other fictional heroes out there that have saved humanity, I'm quite certain that the Terminator doomsday scenario comes closest to reality, and may in fact be far too prophetically accurate for comfort. Thus, we can learn more from John Connor and repeated viewings of the Terminator franchise than from just about any other medium that portrays humanity's struggle for survival. Update your Netflix queue accordingly.

My trepidations about the coalescence of developing artificial intelligence and the ubiquity of the internet aside (i.e. a technological singularity), as a global society we have been hurtling into the future with technology developing at a truly exponential rate, as Ray Kurzwell demonstrates aptly in a recent TED presentation. One of the more glaring results of the ongoing technological progress in which we find ourselves immersed is the overabundance of information that anyone with an internet connection should be well aware of. With a few strokes of a keypad we're able to find the answer to almost any routine question we could conjure. It sure beats going to the library to pour through the Encyclopedia Brittanica.

This information overload has spawned the new field of data visualization. Faced with enormous amounts of data that cannot realistically be read and understood in the traditional sense, there has been an increasing effort to convert this data into charts, graphs, interactive displays, and supergraphics that will allow users to comprehend the significance of the information being synthesized, compressed, and displayed. As we continue to amass more and more information, the manner in which we convey this data will continually evolve in such a way that considers technological capability, human psychology, and artistic appeal.

The implications for our society's growing data obsession are innumerable and unpredictable. It may one day bring world peace or may instead convert humanity into an enslaved race of human-machine hybrids, much like the Borg, who's to know? Nevertheless, it is obvious that this trend has and will continue to shape how we think. The traditional process of discovery where one asks a question and then must engage in the work of finding the answer has been turned on its head.

Collectively, we have the data to answer an overwhelming amount of questions, and while our methods of harvesting this data are in their infancy, they will no doubt progress at the typical exponential pace of technology. Where we are sorely lacking is in our ability to ask the right questions.

Without asking the right questions we cannot put our plethora of information to work. Information for the sake of information is not only useless, its obnoxious. In the context of public health, something I think about from time to time, disease rates, lab results, and health outcomes are meaningless until that data is put to use improving population health. Questions provide the framework for making information work for us. Without asking the right questions we might as well be building a brick house on quicksand.

So the question remains: is "what are the right questions?" the right question to ask?

The Broad Street Pump: Now Serving Beer!

Yes, that's right, the Broad Street Pump is back in action for the first time since 1854... only this time rather than serving up cholera-tainted water, it will be spewing forth amateur brew concocted in west Berkeley. With the help of my esteemed colleagues, brewmasters Rob and Paul, I am formally announcing the informal creation of not one, but two, lines of homebrew - straight from our over-sized storage closet.... Red Star Brewing and Constitution Beer Works



Why create two different brands of beer simultaneously? Because we're clever businessmen, that's why. With the political climate in this country being what it is, there's no better to way to make a profit than by blatantly marketing to the ardent supporters of the liberal left and the conservative right. No self-respecting tea-partier wants to be caught dead drinking the same brew as some deadbeat, Muslim-sympathizing socialist; and why should the educated elite have to suffer the same swill as those creationist simpletons?

No, if this country is going to be properly divided the lines must be drawn. The time for common ground and putting our differences aside is over. We can no longer share the same simple pleasures; they must be branded and marketed in a diametrically opposed fashion. We here at Red Star Brewing and Constitution Beer Works are happy to provide this long-overdue service to a nation of individuals that have too often been forced to commiserate with their polar opposites over the same delicious adult beverage. Enough is enough.

So tape off your half of the room you share with that yokel freshman, show your neighbor how easily his Prius can be destroyed by an F-350, and crack open a fresh beer far, far away from anyone who disagrees with you about anything.

Found: One Slightly-Used Blog

We all lose things. I lose pens and lighters like its my job. I'm used to losing things, searching frantically for them for about 3 minutes, giving up, and having them return to me weeks later. I recently found a lost item while putting on a rarely-worn pair of shoes and noticing that it was, in fact, preventing my toes from reaching their destination. Moral of the story: check your shoes.

Despite being a pro at losing and recovery process, I was worried for most of this summer. For the first time I actually lost an intangible item, though I suppose if you want to count thoughts, ideas, and focus in that category then I lose intangibles all the time. I happened to misplace by blog back in June, shortly after my most recent (and utterly lame) post. My blogging had declined as last semester wore on and I'm fairly certain that my blog had simply set out to find greener pastures. At first I was hurt; I thought I had been a good provider for my blog... feeding it text, adding pictures, and providing it with ample visitors (albeit, all from my IP address). Apparently I was wrong.

I have, however, been given a second chance. My blog has come back to me and we're ready to give it another shot. I have an entire summer (and even some of last spring) to make up for.

At the moment The Woolsey Street Digest has been in a bit of an identity crisis: I no longer live on Woolsey Street. Should I have seen this coming? Probably. So what to do? Change the name but keep the same URL? Get a new blog altogether? Not change a thing? These are the life-altering decisions that I've been contemplating. I've chosen to take the incremental approach: New name, same address. I wouldn't want to confuse my readership that now numbers in the 0.005's... a migration might be in store later on.

So what's with the new name? The Broad Street Pump refers to the cholera outbreak that occurred in London in 1854. The outbreak was eventually controlled when John Snow removed the handle of the Broad Street water pump, which he had identified as the source of outbreak via its contaminated water. Along with the significant fact that Snow was the first to link cholera with contaminated water, the case study is also one of the more seminal pieces of epidemiologic investigation, and an inspiration to public health nerds such as myself.

I aspire to no such greatness with this blog. It will remain a cesspit filled with my scattered thoughts, half-hearted ambitions, and occasional ill-informed rants. Some things will never change.

Dear Eduardo: The Food Entry

Dear Eduardo,

I bet you'd just about given up hope of me writing to you again, huh? I'm sorry to have ignored you and the blog which you so meticulously maintain for so long; I've been busy to say the least. There are so many new developments and I don't have time to discuss them all now (I'm busy after all!), but rest assured I'll find some time over this coming weekend to regal you tales of West Coast happenings such as Bay to Breakers Freedom Day, Celtics in the NBA finals, three new roommates, field epidemiology training, kickball in the park, The National at the Fox Theater, and of course my trip home to Rhode Island (I guess that's more of an East Coast happening).

Anyways... this entry will be short and delicious, since its devoted to food. Why food? Two reasons:

1. Now that school is done for the summer, I suddenly find myself with time on my hands. I've been filling this 4th-dimensional gap by cooking more often. I've really missed it.
   
2. I saw this story on NPR's website today and was filled with feelings of nostalgia, homesick-ness and hunger. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127481915

Providing that link to the NPR story was half the reason for this post. The other half is to inform you that I recently made some pulled pork that I was particularly proud of. I used a North Carolina-style vinegar sauce for the first time and think it came out pretty well. Of course, anytime you have the patience for something to cook in the oven for six hours, it better be tasty. I'd provide you with the recipe, but I forget what it was. Plus its nothing special. I also shredded a head of red cabbage and mixed in a bit of cider vinegar to go with it. Yum.

So I've spent the past few days doing my best to consume five pounds of pulled pork without getting sick of it or because of it. Some of my solutions: pulled pork sandwiches with cabbage (duh), pulled pork omelette with cheddar and red onion, pulled pork and cabbage on polenta patties, and finally tonight pulled pork soft tacos with shredded NY extra-sharp cheddar, peach mango salsa, chopped bacon bits and of course, shredded red cabbage. Stick that with a limited-release Lagunitas 'Undercover Investigator Shut-Down Ale' that weighs in at 9.75% ABV and you've got yourself a solid Friday night dinner. Here is a picture of said meal before I conquered it in less than 10 minutes...

Until next time...

This Guy is a Rock Star

I saw Tallest Man on Earth play this past Sunday night at The Independent in San Francisco. Hands down the best $12 I've spent in a long, long time (and I buy a lot of really good beer). I'm not critical enough, nor do I have a good enough ear for the more technical aspects of music to write any sort of real review... but I found one from the show I saw here that might suffice. Maybe.

What I will say is that if you ever have a chance to see this guy perform you'd better grab that opportunity by the proverbial balls and not let go. Not only does he know the guitar better than the vast majority of performers I've seen, in addition to his effortless voice, but the man has stage presence too; a perfect blend of humility and confidence that lends itself perfectly to his music.

How he produces such full sound from a single guitar is beyond me. At one point Robbie commented that he simply had to have another track playing in the background (I forget which particular song). Almost immediately, as if to say "oh dear boy, do not underestimate me" he threw in an abrupt pause before continuing the song, just enough to show that yes indeed, it was all him and his guitar.

You can check tour dates and sample a few tracks on his myspace page. I'd recommend making use of GrooveShark to listen to both his albums (Shallow Grave and The Wild Hunt) until you realize he's good enough to deserve you actually dropping a few dollars on his albums.

Postscript: I'll actually finish my post on Coachella in next couple of days and maybe even make a few more. Deadlines for my research and infectious disease finals have been haunting my life for the past few weeks.

And if you're going to be homeless, do it here.

News Flash...

I'm a nerd and a dork...

Nucleotide sequences from Staph saprophiticus in one gChat window, the Gandalf/Batman debate in the other...

Coachella 2010: Condoms & Coccidiomycosis

Dear Eduardo,

I owe you a plethora of apologies for not keeping you updated on the goings-on of yours truly, April, it would suffice to say, as been a rather busy month. I've got lots to tell you, but this entry will be reserved for telling the tale of Coachella 2010. I'll update you about the rest in my next post, which likely turn out to be a bulleted list lacking any semblance of literary worth. Just you wait and see...

Onward!

As my last post informed you our trip to the Coachella Music & Arts Festival was dual-purpose... checking out some sweet live music and distributing 10,000 free condoms to the dirty, sweaty, drunken masses to that they'd keep their herpes to themselves. I'd like to report that we were successful in those endeavors... as well as many more.

It all began with Gail and I bailing on our infectious disease lab by late morning Thursday so that Megha could pick us up in a timely fashion and our journey to southern California could commence. Of course, we couldn't just drive right to Indio, CA (the site of Coachella), first we had to stop at Megha's parent's house in Malibu to swap her Mini Cooper for their minivan, as well as pick up the two giant boxes filled with condoms that they so graciously allowed to be shipped to their home. After that we'd be picking up Megha's friend Ron (and the object of my new bromance) at LAX, stopping in Pasadena, and finally heading east to Indio. Having left Berkeley at roughly noon, we arrived at the entrance to Coachella at 2am. This what we found...

That would be the 2-hour wait we found. A field full of cars being searched by overtired Marine volunteers and Coachella staff. We made the most of it by hiding our hard liquor and other unmentionables in the compartment that the minivan seat folds into under the floor and passing out condoms to all the people waiting in or on their cars. We may have also had a few beers. By 5am we had been searched, checked in, and found our campsite. We had our tents pitched by dawn and proceeded to get oh... about 1.5 hours of sleep. We awoke to this...

Beautiful sight, no? Well it was hot. Coachella is essentially the desert. I've yet to mention that in addition to the four of us in Megha's ride, we met the other half of our crew right before entering the festival (Divya, Scott, Baran, and Mary). So after cooling off with some morning High Lifes and getting our bleary-eyed selves together we embarked on the trek across the festival grounds to the entrance to the concert area. Though it took an inhuman amount of stamina on hardly any sleep, we spent from roughly 2pm until 1am checking out the following lineup.

• Deer Tick; Rhode Island natives who gave Divya and I a shout-out for yelling about Providence. They rocked harder than I expected, one of the best acts I saw all weekend.
  
• The Avett Brothers; a fantastic follow-up to Deer Tick.
  
• She & Him; god I want to slap Zoe Daschanel. As Robbie put, she's obnoxiously adorable.
• Passion Pit; who played a stellar set right at sunset. Very awesome.
  
• Vampire Weekend; sounded great, but their show wasn't anything out of the ordinary.
  
• Jay-Z; Friday's headliner who did not disappoint. Even dragged Beyonce out for a final track, but left a lot of people disappointed since the buzz for the two weeks prior was that Dre would be making an appearance during his show. At this point in the night my memories are clouded and it all seemed surreal.

I'm going to have to continue this entry later... I'll put this much up for now.

What Would YOU Do with 10,000 Condoms?

Duh.

How 'bout if you had to give them all away in less than three days? Keep in mind there are only 4,320 minutes in a three-day period, stud.

Next weekend I'll be joining several other of my fellow public health nerds in going down to the Coachella Music Festival east of Palm Springs. It will be three days of hot days, cold nights (its the desert) and fantastic music. The lineup includes Jay-Z, She & Him, The Dirty Projectors, MGMT, Spoon, De La Soul, and of course... PAVEMENT.

What makes the trip extra-special is that we'll be arriving with 10,000 condoms in tow. We applied for and received a 'mini-grant' from the Center for Health Leadership student board and purchased them through the AIDS Healthcare foundation. We'll be giving them out at the festival for free to help balance the fact that last year they were reportedly selling condoms at a price between $2-3 each. Clearly a barrier to safe sex... clearly.

But the best part... we made t-shirts. And they're awesome. See below.

I Heart Vaccines

Measles will kill you. Why? Because your neighbors didn't vaccinate their children, and then you babysat for those little rats. Little did you know that those germ bags came into contact with another unvaccinated little punk while they were vacationing in southeast Asia two weeks ago.

The term 'intentionally unvaccinated' is used to describe these kids, whose parents refuse vaccines not on religious grounds (that would be reasonable), but based on new-agey pseudo-science that says 'organic' food will boost your immune system and vaccines will give your child autism. (1) There is no scientific standard set by any regulatory body (such as the FDA) to determine what 'organic' entails, and if you have any concept of how the immune system functions, you'd realize that organic yogurt isn't going to keep you from getting even something as 'mild' as the flu (influenza will also kill you). (2) I've ranted plenty of times before about the complete lack of scientific evidence supporting any link between vaccination and autism. And of the steady of flow of court cases coming to the same conclusion should be some kind of indicator.

Its ironic that we're so lucky to live in a country where people actually have a choice of whether or not to get vaccinated against diseases that kill thousands in other parts of the world. Diphtheria, polio, pertussis, measles, pneumococcus, Haemophilis influenzae, rubella, hepatitis... know anyone with these ailments? Probably not. Its because we have vaccines.

NPR did a great story on the cost of recent measles outbreaks that have been occurring with more frequently as pockets of 'intentionally unvaccinated' grow. Check it out.

In other news, the latest formulation of Meningococcal vaccine is hitting Europe, which will now help to protect adults against Meningitis C. Of the five major pathogenic strains, we can now vaccinate against Meningitis A, C, Y, and W135. Meningitis B vaccine still eludes because its a tricky bastard, but its days are numbered.

You can visit the CDC website to the schedule of immunizations every person should receive.

Post About Nothing

I'm a pretty crappy blogger. Even I will admit, between bouts of self-loathing, that there's a gem or two on this blog, even if those gems are only a couple sentences long. However, I really cranked out too many posts in February and I fear I'm suffering a residual loss of inspiration, intelligence, or wit (probably all three). There are numerous likely causes for this downturn in my blogging ability, and I will enumerate them here for my own benefit as I ponder how to get back on the track to achieving blogging mediocrity...

1. Imbalance of bodily humors. According to the ancient Greeks, the four bodily humors were identified as black bile, yellow bile, phlegm, and blood. Since blood was traditionally associated with the spring season I must be short on blood. Interestingly, it is also associated with the liver, my most oft-abused organ; could there be a connection? Perhaps.
2. Impending reversal of the Earth's magnetic field. On average it reverses approximately every 300,000 years, but we haven't had a reversal in 780,000 years! We're totally due for it.
   
3. Rabies. It can have an incubation period of several days to several years. I figure I must have been infected by a bat bite, which can sometimes go unnoticed. If its the long-incubation sort I'll slowly progress from malaise and fever to the more exciting symptoms like violent movements, uncontrolled excitement, hydrophobia, hallucination, and coma. Not even Dr. House could save his rabies patient. I'm doomed.
   
4. Lack of Artistic Angst. "Angst is a German, Danish, Norwegian and Dutch word for fear or anxiety. It is used in English to describe an intense feeling of strife." Basically, I think I'm too easily contented. I need some strife.
   
5. I am Job-esque. You know, Job, from the Bible. The almighty is testing me by ensuring my writing sucks. Don't worry God, I'm wise to your tricks. I don't blame you.
   
6. Armageddon. This is only the very first sign of the impending armageddon that we all knew would follow the passage of the Health Care bill. Damn you Obama.

Truth be told, I probably just need to adjust my whiskey-to-beer intake ratio. Perhaps that's the black and yellow bile the ancient Greeks were referring to.

In the Spirit of Easter (and Bourbon)

This was sent to by a fellow Maker's Mark Ambassador (he prefers 'Apostle'), my friend Ryan. You can read his blog here.

This was his response to my suggestion that one day they might produce a commemorative Maker's Mark bottle in his likeness, as they just did for Coach Cal (thanks for pointing that out Kate).


A reading from Ryan's Letter to the Kentuckians:

And I did go unto the Makers and make known to them my skill. Unto them, I did say: "Go forth into the land, you men and women, and gather in thine arms the golden wheat and barley of thy fields, discard the chaff, and add to it the wheat that grows red in Winter. Mark me well when I say unto thee that ye shall add no rye to thine grains, for it is the mark of inferiority and tool of a shoddy craftsman. Instead add these grains, I tell you, to the the cool, sweet spring waters that flow forth, by the grace of Dixie, from the ground in this land. Into a large Vat shall ye pour this Holy elixir. Heat it, I say, slowly, for many days and nights. Drain ye the liquid, and pass it
through yon copper tubes and pipes, heated with purifying flame. Visit the cooper, and have made a barrel of such quality, toasted to perfection, and made ready to be filled with thine Spirits. Wait now children, for the Still waters must becalm, for 10 summers. Great patience will be rewarded, I tell you.

If you do this, if you heed my words, and heed them well and true, unto thee shall be delivered the greatest of gifts: a golden ambrosia so Healthful and Right, that all shall know its power, even by scent. You shall call it: Bourbon. See ye this Mark? Affix it to thine vessels, o Makers of Dixie, that all shall know its power. In time, the people of distant lands shall hear, and perchance, even partake of your Bourbon. When they do, they will feel compelled to embark upon a great Journey, across the mountains, from whence your sweet water flows; across the plains upon which your grains grow. To thine door, shall they Journey. And ye shall welcome them, these weary travelers, with arms and doors flung wide. Unto them shall ye say: 'Behold, road-worn traveler, the Mark of the Makers. Ye have traveled long and well, and thine deliverance is at hand. But take heed: to step through these doors and to partake of the Bourbon is to be transformed. If ye stay with us this night, on the morrow shall ye depart an agent of
the Makers, burdened to spread the Gospel of the Bourbon through the land. Aye, cross this threshold and ye shall become an Ambassador.'"

And the Makers made the Bourbon, affixed their mark to the vessels, welcomed the travelers, and spread the Good News of the Bourbon far and wide. And it is good.

The Scotch Night #2 [Scotch Night is Really Blowing Up]

Scotch Night #2: Triple Attack - The Dalmore 12 Year, The Balvenie 12 Year Doublewood, and special guest Maker's Mark bourbon.

Price: The Dalmore ($42), The Balvenie ($40), Maker's Mark (You know how much it costs you alcoholic)

Taste:
The Dalmore; very smooth with a hint of sweetness, almost Irish whisky-esque. A solid choice, especially for first-time scotch drinkers, not quite as exciting compared to others.

The Balvenie; delicious! An almost-bourbon sweetness and a bit more bite than the Dalmore. Slaps you in the mouth a bit. This was the clear favorite.

Maker's Mark; I felt almost guilty that half my motivation for drinking the scotch was to get to the Maker's Mark... almost. They should put this stuff in juice boxes so I can pack in my school lunch.

Paired With: French bread, two types of Brie, crazy goat cheese & apple slices, the musical stylings of Rob White.

Consumed By: Adam, Paul, Robbie, Megha, Dave, Alyssa, Gail, Christie, Nick, Lief. It was quite a crowd.

Immediate Effect: Stuffing two people into a single 'onesie' (see below).

Short-Term Effect: Heckling Robbie until he finally played guitar for us.

Long-Term Effect: Chugging coffee at the bagel shop and wondering why it is that my legs always hurt after a night of hard liquor consumption (a quick scan of the interwebs shows that many people clearly have this same question).


Report Filed 4/3/10 in the Annals of Infectious Disease Scotch Consumption

Things That Upset Me

College Basketball is stupid anyways. The World Cup can't get here fast enough.

"You must never be satisfied with losing. You must get angry, terribly angry, about losing. But the mark of the good loser is that he takes his anger out on himself and not his victorious opponents" ~Richard M. Nixon

You know you're on the wrong track when Richard Nixon seems virtuous in comparison.

Al Gore already won a Nobel Peace Prize.

Just for good measure.

Joe Biden Gets Excited...

...about Amtrak and health care reform mostly. And Barack Obama. Those guys love each other.

What's best is that Biden can go from quoting Virgil (5:30) one moment, and then whisper to BarryO, "this is a big fucking deal!" (5:58) within earshot of the microphones surrounding him. How can you not love that?

Joe, you can be my conductor any day.

Health Care Reform was sooo Last Year

What!? The healthcare reform bill passed? No f@#$ing way!

I thought the government gave up on that around the time the final season of LOST started... I hear Rahm Emanuel is a big fan. Despite being someone who passionately believes we need serious reform (much more than is what included in this bill) and who 'studied' political science as an undergrad, even I was almost completely checked-out of the ongoing debate that so many thought was over once those liberal yahoos in Massachusetts elected Scott 'Pickup Truck' Brown.

Well it seems the Democrats realized that their ship (the S.S. November Election) was sinking whether they pushed a reform bill through at the last minute or not, so I'm glad they gave it the 'ol college try (where did that phrase come from? no one tries in college). Apparently Obama will sign the bill into law on Tuesday, while the Senate presumably squawks about the alterations the House made before those additional elements can also become law.

BUT: I still hate Nancy Pelosi. Here's why...

... 'nuff said.

Anyways, glad things are moving forward. Here's a few links if you care what this 'groundbreaking' bill is going to do for (or as the Republicans would say 'to') this country.

• Kaiser Health News: Consumer's Guide to Health Care Reform
• NPR: Immediate Effects of the Health Bill Passing
• NAACHO: Key Public Health Provisions in the Health Care Bill (hooray public health!)