In The Kitchen with Shark Eyes

The following is a contribution to my blog from my friend Rob White. While he may have trouble using a telephone, he's a great guitar player and fantastic cook. I love cooking, and eating, so I asked him to contribute a recipe. It probably won't be the last. Soon I'll delve into the abyss that is the nexus of food and public health... But for now, here's Robbie, aka 'Shark Eyes'...

I was recently asked to make a contribution to the Woolsey Street Digest, I assume in the interest of rounding out the publication’s flourishing readership. Specifically, I have been contracted to talk about the world of food and why not? I can’t imagine any better combination than one man’s musings on the politics of public health and infectious disease followed by a self indulgent foray into the world of amateur gastronomy. I know nothing makes my tummy grumble like a rousing story about humanity’s inevitable destruction at the hand of some pandemic de jour.

Despite my cynicism, I have recently had few people ask me to share some of my recipes with them and this might be a good venue to slake their, presumably, unquenchable hunger for my secrets.

The first recipe I would like to share is one which I had a tremendous amount of trouble with and only finally got working recently. People's opinions regarding the process of making French bread, as I have found, can be extremely divisive. There are innumerable recipes available, all of which insist that they constitute the perfect loaf of French bread. I’m not sure that my recipe is perfect but I can say that it has worked for me consistently where others have failed. I don’t have pictures for this recipe, but in the future I’ll try to provide some visual aids.

Shark Eyes' Perfect French Bread

-4 cups white flour (You can substitute as much as half with wheat flour if you would like)

-1 tbs. salt

-1.5 cups water (warm but not uncomfortably hot to touch)

-1.75 tbs. active dry yeast

-a pinch of sugar

Add sugar and yeast to water and mix in a large bowl. Let sit for about 10 minutes until the yeast activates and bubbles on top of the water. Mix salt into 3 cups of four and slowly add to the yeast mixture, constantly stirring, to incorporate the flour. Once the first 3 cups of flour are added, cover and let sit for about a half hour.

Uncover and add the last cup of flour (1/4 cup at a time) and mix with your hands until it forms a soft dough. It may only take ¾ of a cup but that is okay. Pull your dough ball out of the bowl and knead for 5 minutes on a clean floured surface then let it rest for about 7 minutes (use that time to wash and dry the mixing bowl and coat it with olive oil) and then knead for 5 more minutes. Form the dough into a ball and put it into the oiled bowl. Roll the ball around and make sure to coat it on all sides with the oil. Cover the bowl with a damp towel and let rise in a warm place for at least an hour and a half and until the dough at least doubles in size (often times I’ll let the dough rise for up to three hours and it fills a rather large mixing bowl).

Once the dough has risen, punch it down in the bowl then bring it back out onto your flowered work surface. Knead for a few more minutes. Cut the dough in half and make them into balls again. This recipe will make to large baguettes so I usually save one half in a plastic bag, in the refrigerator (it will last at least 4 or 5 days and it makes really good pizza dough). Let the dough that you are using sit for a few minutes longer then, with a rolling pin make the dough into something that resembles a rectangle that is about 8” by 12”. It might look more like an oval and that is okay. The key is that it is fairly even. Next, tightly roll the dough in on itself so that it is starting to look like a loaf of bread. Pinch the dough along the seam to seal then, with the seal facing up, pull the dough from the bottom on both ends up and incorporate it into the seam. This process is difficult to describe and I am making it sound more complicated than it is. The objective is to seal up the loaf so that there are no holes. Use your common sense and it will be fine.

Now prepare a baking sheet. The best way to do this is to use a high sided baking sheet upside-down. Oil the bottom of the pan and, if you have it, sprinkle some corn meal on. Then lay your loaf out on the pan seam side down. Let it sit and rise a bit more while you ready the oven.

Set the racks in your oven so that one rack is near the bottom and the other is in the middle/top. On the bottom rack put an oven-proof dish with water in it. This will create steam which will help make your bread nice and crispy. Turn the oven on to bake at 450 degrees. Once your bread is about the size you want it to be, make perpendicular slits along the top of the bread every couple inches along its entire length. Brush the top of the bread liberally with water and put it into the oven on the upper rack and bake for 15 or 20 minutes. It is ready when the loaf looks golden brown and delicious.

So that is the recipe. It looks more daunting than it actually is. Try it once and you will realize that it is well worth the effort. It is a fun thing to do on a lazy Sunday, especially if you are hung over. Focusing on the recipe will help keep your mind off of that sick feeling and the finished product, along with some hot soup, will help to sop up the alcohol lingering in your stomach.